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20 Responses to “Top 10 Answering Machine Messages?”
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help you. (Caller thinks that he/she accidentally dialed long distance.
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today’s vocabulary word. Today’s word is “supercilious”.
You have reached the ******* Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
hi, you have reached the home of John’s answering machine. When you get this message, have your machine call my machine back. My machine is lonely…I am not.
Hello, this is tom’s toaster, his answering machine is currently in the repair shop so ill be taking is messages for now. please leave a message when the toast pops up.
*ka-chunk*
March 18th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
mcclain
LOL! You get a star for that!
Number 1,6, and 10 cracked me up!
March 21st, 2009 at 8:29 am
stmull
Some of my favorites:
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help you. (Caller thinks that he/she accidentally dialed long distance.
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today’s vocabulary word. Today’s word is “supercilious”.
You have reached the ******* Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
March 23rd, 2009 at 3:15 pm
jesse
My friend’s is wierd.
Hi this is vince this is not my number anymore this is now kyra’s. call me back at _ _ _ -_ _ _-_ _ _ _. if it’s for kyra, leave a message
March 24th, 2009 at 8:57 am
stephen
those are really funny!
March 25th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
domihump
Hahaha! I don’t even bother having the message it still says “You’ve reach [Phone Number] Please leave your name, number, and message after the tone.”
March 27th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
rebero
number 1 & number 6 are soooo funneh!
XDDDD
i really am sick minded [:
March 28th, 2009 at 10:16 am
edith
Hehe, I used number 2 as an away message for AIM.
March 29th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
lakerodg
lol i love #2…ha ha ha ha…that was a knee slapper
March 31st, 2009 at 1:23 am
krispr
OMG! LOL! this is sooo funny! where do you got this joke? it is sooo funny!
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:47 am
britton
idk i likie! keep ‘em coming!
April 4th, 2009 at 5:35 am
luevano
9 definitley lol.
April 5th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
ricagonz
lol, funny.
April 5th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
cora
Funny! 100!
April 6th, 2009 at 6:34 am
jagra
hi, you have reached the home of John’s answering machine. When you get this message, have your machine call my machine back. My machine is lonely…I am not.
April 6th, 2009 at 8:49 am
mamora
7 is the funniest to a techy guy.
April 7th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
sane
OMG OMG OMG THHHAT ROCKED!
April 10th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
maagui
hahahahahahaha
April 13th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
leamcca
I love numbers 1 and 6, I might actually use 6 sometime soon, and maybe 1 when I get married lol
April 16th, 2009 at 6:12 am
pero
lol those are good ones
5 and 2 are the best ones
April 18th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
jackman
Hello, this is tom’s toaster, his answering machine is currently in the repair shop so ill be taking is messages for now. please leave a message when the toast pops up.
*ka-chunk*